Five French Hens

I have a desperate need to change up my blogging style. I'll catch up eventually, but as it stands I'm already three days behind and I don't have enough time with the internet cutting out every five minutes to make long posts only to have them not save. So, instead of talking about movies, I'm going to tell you some things about France. I will tell you five things about France.

#1 - Master Burger
First off, Master Burger is amazing. They have sandwiches of all kinds and fries and kebabs and sometimes they even give us some of those things for free if we go in big groups. The best thing about Master Burger is that they have a sandwich called an "American" which is on a long baguette and consists of two hamburger patties, cheese, ketchup, mayonnaise, and fries. Yes, in the sandwich. I will take a picture (not that I can upload it soon though) to show you later, but just trust me, it's the most delicious thing ever. Also, it smells like America, which is alternately fascinating and disturbing. You take a whiff and it's like, "ZOMG. This is really an American." Sometimes though, when people are talking in a large group and you can't exactly hear all of the words they say and they're talking about Master Burger all you hear is "Master Bu..." and you can only imagine the level of startlement and head turning that gets.

#2 - Crepes
I think they drug the crepe batter to keep you coming back for more. I've only been here for about a week and a half and I'm already addicted. I feel like a pigeon whenever I see a sign for a Creperie. I get very alert and excited and my head pops up and I start walking around all jumpy-like. You can get them with Nutella if you want a delicious treat, or you can get them with ham and eggs and cheese for breakfast. You can get them with sugar and you can get them with fruit or confiture (jelly). You literally can eat them in a box and you could figuratively eat them with a fox, or literally if you could find one near the beach that is.

#3 - Four Things The French Do Really Well
A. Design beautiful towns and cities. Everything looks like they put time into thinking, "Will this look good if I put it here?" before going through with any construction. Also, lots of palm trees helps probably.
B. Drive through traffic. Especially in regard to taxi drivers, who weave in and out of cars like it's nobody's business and never look back.
C. Make baked goods. The pain au chocolate (this flaky bread pastry thing that has chocolate on the inside) and croissant amande (no idea, but it's delicious) are heavenly.
D. Roundabouts. America should have more of them. From the airport in Nice to the hotel in Juan les Pins, I don't believe we passed through any traffic lights just because there were so many roundabouts. Everything went a lot faster and traffic was much less of a problem.

#4 - Four Things The French Don't Do Very Well
A. Clean up after their dogs. There is dog poop everywhere on the streets in JLP and Cannes. People just can't be bothered or they are taken by surprise I suppose, though I find it hard to believe that after having a dog for so long you could be surprised when they start pooping on the streets. They even have these fancy boxes for you to deposit the whole mess in, but no one uses them.
B. Trash cans. I find that there are a lack of trash cans when I need them most. All the time I'm trying to throw stuff away and there's nowhere to put it. On a related note, recycling. Except in a central part of Cannes, I haven't seen anyone recycle at all. It's a bit bothersome.
C. Internet Access. It makes me very irritated to think about it right now, but let's just say the intertubes here act like they are just little dial up lines. Only worse because they disconnect me and I can't even eavesdrop on people's conversations.
D. Schedules. I'm not quite sure this is a con, but it can be frustrating at times. You never know when stuff is going to be open or closed. You could try to go to the post office three times a day and it will never be open. Same with food stands. You may want a crepe, but you sure aren't going to get one if you go at noon. Or at five. Or at nine. Or ever. Or on Sundays. Or on Monday evenings from six to ten.

#5 - One Thing Cannes Has That No One Else Does
Thuesday. Yesterday was Thuesday according to the official Cannes Film Festival Pocket Guide. Thuesday was a pretty good day, all things considered, and even if it wasn't it was still Thuesday, so there you go. "Can't complain, it's Thuesday today guys." I think I may celebrate it every year.